Recent events in my life have caused me to think about friendship, peacemaking, pride, forgiveness and the relationship between them all. I want to be a peace-maker, a friend, one who loves, lets things slide and isn't so caught up in pride (or self-consciousness - which is really the same thing) as to not be outgoing. i don't ever want to say to myself - i could never be friends with him/her and act like people aren't good enough for me. i've never been perfect at this and let's face it - some people will be near and dear to your heart and some will stay more distant. but, i don't want to find myself screening people out of my life or crossing them off my list or making people feel awkward (i.e. we can't invite lauren because she doesn't like so-and-so). i want to love, to use my language and my mind in a way that makes people feel secure, not insecure. this is not my greatest strength, but rather a hope. i think the holy spirit will get me there in time. i know that God desires for me to love the way he does and is more than happy to oblige. that's what i want most out of life - to learn to love. to be thoughtful, patient, fogiving, humble. a laundry list of things i am not, but want to be. And maybe if some of us really learned to love - especially when difficult - it would cause restitution rather than division on a larger scale. And we could all have a chance at getting along. peace.
